Thailand

I am sorry it has been so long since I made a blog entry. Since my last entry I have been to Thailand. On Wed 3rd April mum, Madeline and I went to the airport as our flight was leaving at 0:1:00am in the morning. After a short stop at Singapore we arrived in Phuket at about 8am. We found our transfer who drove us an hour or so to the resort in Khao Lak. The Sands resort was absolutely beautiful. I discovered that most of the guests staying there were also using the great deal from Deals.com. The room was beautiful, the  pools were gorgeous and the beach was right out the front. The area of Khao Lak itself is extremely quiet and Madeline had a lovely time playing in the pools and mum and I enjoyed a number of treatments in the spa. I wondered around the small town a bit however there was not really a lot of shopping. We had decided to do a shopping tour for one day to Patong however then decided to cut our stay at Khao Lak short by 3 nights and we booked to stay at the Holiday Inn in Patong for our last 3 nights to get some shopping in. I love love the busy atmosphere of a place like Patong and to be honest I think the way we did it was great and I would consider it for my next holiday. Going to stay at a quiet relaxing resort for a few nights and then moving to a busy area. In Patong I did a bit of shopping but to be honest I just enjoy wondering around the markets or the shopping center and taking a break at a little bar for a drink etc.

It was a lovey holiday however now I need to save save save for my next one.

here are some photos.

 The resort

 The beach at Khao Lak

 Madeline

 Madeline after collecting shells

 Madeline again

Me and my girl.

Speed Dating

I have just returned home from my first attempt at Speed Dating. My girlfriend Renee asked me to go a few days ago and although I was hesitant at first I did finally agree. I did however back out again when I knew it was going to cost be $90. I did think that was a little steep. After agreeing and going online to pay my $80 (it had dropped $10 when I signed up #winning) I had to upload a photo and do a bit of a profile. Anyway the night started at 7pm and we arrived and were given name badges. There was quite a large group of 17 boys and 17 girls. When everyone had arrived the girls took a seat and one by one a boy would sit opposite you and you would have a minim 5 minute date. I guess I didn't go there expecting much of the night which is why I didn't even feel nervous which is extremely unusual for me. Renee however was shaking like a leaf. Everyone was nice although a little too old for me IMO. I ticked the 'yes' box for 5 of the gentleman and if they have also ticked the 'yes' box against my name then we get our email address exchanged. I am not expecting much and to be honest I am not sure if I would answer the email anyway however we will see what happens.

Tomorrow is Naomi and Rob's wedding which is so so so exciting!

Merry Christmas

Well Christmas Day for 2012 is coming to a close. Madeline went to bed earlier than I remember her going to bed in a long time last night. She was so looking forward to Santa visiting with all of her prezzies. She woke up at 7:10am dragging a very tired mummy, nana and pop with her to watch her unwrap all of her presents. Once again I went overboard with the gift buying. She loved everything she got and was super excited when I told her that I got us tickets to the One Direction concert next year. After she unwrapped present after present after present etc etc it was time for a late breakfast and to get ready to go out for lunch. We were going to the MCG for lunch with my mum, dad, brother and his girlfriend of 10+ years Emma as well as my cousin Julie. Lunch was ok but I did prefer the Christmas a few years back when we went to the RACV club. It had more of a Chrissy feel that year. Madeline and I then dropped Julie off and went home to get her ready once again to return to Anglesea. She has gone again now and even though I do love the occasional break that I get when she goes away with my parents this particular Christmas night I am a little lonely.

The best present I received however came in the mail yesterday and it was the signed agreement that Madeline's father sent from overseas agreeing to me having sole custody. That has definitely made me less stressed to have that worry lifted.

Here are some snaps of my girl.
 

So excited with her One Direction pens.

And her Smiggle set.

And another Beanie Kid

Spongebob Pj's

Monster High Wii game and lip glosses.

And a pic of the two of us at lunch with Santa.

Time to start dressing like a trendy mama!

Today mum and dad have taken Madeline to Anglesea for the night so I have the day
and night to myself. I went to the shops early this morning so that I could spend the
rest of the day inside at home seeing it is supposed to be 34 degrees. I have been
browsing the net for a bit and found a thread in regards to dressings like a 35 year old.
Now I am 36 and to be honest i didn't think my dress sense was to bad although it
appears from reading 'said thread' that 3/4 pants are definitely the 'NO GO' zone. I
wasn't aware of this but it does make sense. When I think of the 3/4 pants that I have
they are very unflattering. What I really want to do is to go to my wardrobe right now
and clear the majority if it and give it all to the Salvos. My only worry is that I won't
leave myself with an clothes and I kinda need something to wear.

I am also trying to lose some weight. Although it is a very very slow process (lost about 3kg in the last month or two). I was thinking of browsing the web tonight and maybe buying some new clothes although knowing me and the fact that I am thinking of having some drinks tonight the 3 or so kg I have lost will come back. Hey I guess I could try some exercise.......

Just before I finish off this entry I have seen my Hypnotist once again and this time she
finally hypnotized me. At first I wasn't sure if it had worked because I thought that
maybe I was thinking to hard when answering her questions however I do believe it
worked. She had me going back to the times when My ex (Madeline's father) and I
would spend the weekends at home pigging out on chicken and chips and drinking
coke. Even back before then to when i was about 21 and my boyfriend and I at the
time would spend a lot of time eating crap like pizza and chips. When I got together
with him I weighed about 58kg. We went out for 3 years and when he cheated on me
(with someone who looked like I did when he first got together with me) I would say Iwas probably 20kg heavier when he cheated on me and broke my heart. Don't know what it was about him but I do know my heart has never truly healed. Makes me feel a little better though knowing that his now 'wife' the same girl he cheated on me with has now beefed up a little and he is bold as bold! But going back even further to when I was 19 or so and dating someone who for 1.5 years put me through a lot of hurt and verbal abuse. At this time I was a 55kg blond hottie! Regardless of how i looked it never seemed enough. He would still say things things to me like 'bury your head it might improve your face'. He would flirt constantly with others right under my nose, he would apparently cheat over and I've again one of which was with one of my best friends at the time. she is a friend NO LONGER. Anyway I really feel as though these appointments are really going to help me to from this moment on start having the life i wont to have. Don't want to
waste anymore time.

Here are some hot mama's for inspiration!

So it has been a while...

So it has been a while since I have done a blog entry although not a lot has been happening.  A few entries back I mentioned my friend Nicole got married. A week before her wedding I had my acrylic nails removed. This was a huge deal for me because I have had them for the last 16 years at least. I have attempted to remove them before but I just went back to my old nail biting self. Anyway this time this hasn't been the case although they are very weak. I have always kept my nails very short and I am just trying many many things to try and strengthen them. My cuticles need some work as well so I am going to attempt daily applications of hand cream. Anyway this is how they are looking at the moment.

I desperately wont to paint them because I love the look of dark polish on short nails but because I am in the process of using a product called Revitanail I am pretty sure this wouldn't work on top of polish so I am just wearing them naked for the moment.

I also had an incident recently in my car. I was driving home on the freeway going 100km and I was in the middle lane. Suddenly I saw this big piece of metal or something coming straight for me. It had obviously come off a car in front somewhere. Anyway it was coming straight for my windscreen and I am sure if it had of hit it them I would not be here now writing this post. Anyway it do drop a little and ended up hitting my bonnet. I didn't think much of it at first, I was just thinking to myself 'Gee I hope that didn't damage my car...' it wasn't until I had arrived at my destination that I realised it had in fact done a lot of damage. The photo below only shows the top bit, there is more below but I didn't want to post a picture of my Rego. 

So now I have had to put in a claim with my insurance company which is going to cost me my excess of $625 and have the hassle of getting it fixed. I am taking it in next week.

I also went and had an appointment with a hypnotist to try and help me with weight loss. I love to eat food and I think I have an eating addiction. I am trying really hard however at the moment and have lost about 3kg. Anyway her main area is dealing with weight loss and her website is also called HypnoSlim. So I went and saw her for my first appointment which is really just talking and quite intense therapy to try and get to the root of the problem. She had told me on the phone that a lot of people are done after 3 sessions so I thought at $145 a pop I can afford this. Anyway after her hour with me our conversation went like this:

Me: So you said most people are fine after 3 sessions?

Her: Unfortunately you are not one of them. You are not an easy fix!!!!!

So I am sure I will be seeing her for a while however I am feeling really good about it as I think she could really help me. I actually feel that I have wasted my life and when I look at how I am sure I would be in the next 10+ years if I continue along the road I am on I am going to be extremely depressed. I am now feeling uplifted and looking forward to this challenge. My first real appointment is next week so I will let you know how it goes.

Until next time :-)

My Fitness Pal

So I have decided to have another attempt at weight loss and have done well for the last few days except for perhaps today. The title of this post relates to an app that I have recently put on to my IPhone. I have always heard of the benefits of calorie counting and I know it is a big part of the weight loss on shows such as The Biggest Loser but in my opinion was always to complicated. Don't get me wrong I still think it is bloody complicated but this app does everything for you. It starts off daily allowing me 1200 calories. Every time you consume something you can search for it in the search bar and you can also scan the bar code. When some exercise is added to the day that can also be entered to give you some extra calories. For example I started off with my 1200 this morning and then I had a piece if toast with Vegemite which totalled 94 calories. Since I have started this little health kick I had been having a Celebrity Slim Chocolate shake for my morning breakfast however was shocked when I saw that one of these shakes is 211 calories. Exercise is also something that. Am never in the mood to do because I am totally lazy, this is not a good thing when you are addicted to and love food as much as I do. I am a bit of a closet eater and sneak shit loads of food when nobody is around. Anyway Madeline was at a rollerblading party today and I decided to have a go. I had a ball and to be honest wasn't to bad on the old roller blades. I skated pretty intensely for about 15 minutes. Anyway there is a section in the My Fitness Pro app where you can enter any exercise that you may have done in any given day and I searched and found rollerblading for 15 minutes gave me another 258 calories to play with for the day. What I wish i hadn't done however was eat the choc wedge, and the lifesaver ice pole I had about 30 minutes ago. Here is a screen shot of my day.

Hopefully I can try and get myself a little more motivated and start enjoying my life. I hate the fact that I am 36 and that I feel that I have wasted a lot of my life. I love love love my little girl to pieces however I am in a rutt and have been for a long time. I have been single for the past 5 or so years except for a 5 month relationship in between which was a total MISTAKE and for those five months I have no idea what I was thinking. Now even though I feel like I am perfectly happy being on my own I am sure that if I found the right guy I could be a hell of a lot happier.

Disappointments

Sometime perhaps I just expect to much but I have found going back a few years I have been disappointed at certain things that happen in my life, perhaps I am just too sensitive but it makes me feel that perhaps certain people in my eyes to me are 'very important' but perhaps the feelings are not totally mutual. I am not saying that I am not important to these people but I guess not as important as they are to me.

My first example goes back many many years ago when I was young, and single and wanted to go out and have fun on a Saturday night. My girlfriend and I would have planned to 'hit the town'. We would have been meeting at her place beforehand however quite often I would get to her place and she would just say something like 'do you just want to stay in and watch a movie?' This was often a real downer when you have been looking forward to something. It seemed like she had decided not to want to go out for a while however waited until I got there to 'drop the bomb', perhaps if I had been pre-warned I could have decided against going or made other plans. It was often disappointing.

Example two goes back about 6-7 years ago. I had someone who I considered a very good friend. She wasn't part of my group of friends from school as I met her from a workplace however we lived nearby to one another and would pop in to one another's homes a couple of times a week for a gossip. I considered her to be one of my best friends. I had also planned that if I was to get married I would have my two BFF's as a bridesmaids as well as her making it 3. This disappointment came when I wasn't even invited to her wedding.

Example three happened 2 days ago. It was one of my best friends weddings. I have known this girl for about 32 years and we have always been close friends. The first thing her 'husband to be' said to me on the wedding day was how special I was I guess because apart from her family I was the one person there who had known her the longest. When it came to the speeches however and at least 90% of the guests were mentioned in the 'thankyou's' I was missed! I wasn't the only one as 2 of my other friends were missed as well. I know this was just an over site however in my opinion it was a huge disappointment.

I value my friendships so much. I don't have a huge social circle which makes the dozen or so close friends that I have extremely important to me. These examples above however make me realise that perhaps I am not as important to others as they are to me.